[11 Jun 2005|01:14am] whatever, i moved. (stoptheriot) it's the same as my screen name because i'm uncreative but i don't really care. add me if you feel like it. i'm going to delete this journal soon, cause i'm sick of it. bloom

we are untouchable, untouchable is something to be [08 Jun 2005|04:31pm] [ music | against me!; walking is still honest ] i forgot how much i liked this song. good thing i missed against me! when they played near here. i hate not having any money ever. i really need a car and a job. this whole, borrowing my mom's car thing just isn't working out. i think i'm going to reapply at the evergreens. i hate working with the old people but pretty much ALL of the old management has left and i already know how to do everything. plus, the starting salary is decent. i also need a job with shifts where i can work around my UArts class schedule. i'm going to a show on friday that i sort of don't want to go to because i'm not in the position to waste money on bands i don't really listen to. the lower class brats and clit 45 are playing someplace i have never heard of and driving there is going to be a pain because i always get lost or do something stupid like when i almost drove off the bride. (you couldn't really see the things that blocked it but STILL.) it's not that i'm a bad driver but like, i get really nervous when i don't know exactly where i'm going. doug and tom are going with me and they're just going to make fun of my driving the whole time. hopefully we can get there some other way. i don't even really want to go ... i have so much shit to do and there's never enough time. the end of junior year is really fucking stressing me out. 16; bloom

"we came to smash everything and ruin your life. god sent us." [04 Jun 2005|01:47pm] [ music | defiance ] it's funny because i look really serious when in reality i was spray painting like a heart or something haha. uhhh, i hate myself bye. i had the SAT's today and that was fucking long as hell but easier than when i took them in the winter. this weekend sucks. school needs to be over now. romper stomper is the worst movie i've ever seen. actually i just really fucking hate russell crowe.

no one is lonely in a dream [22 May 2005|06:30pm] [ music | against me!; 8 full hours of sleep ]

tonight was fun. [18 May 2005|10:44pm] [ music | etta james ] my heart feels heavy, my feet feel light i shake all over, but i feel alright 10; bloom

some people are just so goddamn negative all the time. [17 May 2005|04:32pm] [ music | hepcat ] i take boring pictures of the things in my life to take my mind off all the shit that is going on right now. i'm tired. tired of people. tired of attitudes. tired of people thinking they're so much better than everyone else. you pretend to hate everyone because you're scared that once people find out you're normal, they're not going to like you anymore. i think one day if i read enough books and learn enough about art and do everything i possibly can to immerse myself in creativity that i will be original and innovative. i'm looking forward to that day. everything and everyone is the same. i wonder when i'll get to see something truly unique. clearly there is nothing original and creative to be found in this town.

[08 May 2005|01:12am] [ music | the smiths ] 5 months.

the things people will do when they think you aren't looking [03 May 2005|10:00pm] [ music | the unseen; live in fear ] i barely even notice what goes on around me anymore.

"hey baaaaaaby! want a popsicle?" [02 May 2005|07:15pm] [ music | hub city stompers ] i said, 'i think i feel alright' on saturday lauren slept over and we ate chocolate chip pancakes. we woke up early to go into the city for the show. the guys played really well.on sunday. the fan club made tara and me especially proud. we love skirts. SM was even spotted there. we ate lunch with doug's real girlfriend. hilarity ensued. word on the street is that they won second place. who would have thought people actually liked ska? well, besides mrs. v. later, doug and i ate burger king like a married couple and played at the bridge. i woke up this morning and was thoroughly disappointed because i thought it was sunday. this afternoon i dropped presents off on connor's doorstep. yesterday was a good day.

[28 Apr 2005|06:58pm] [ music | sleater-kinney ] i really do not like you and i am glad that you'll be gone soon.

[25 Apr 2005|08:40pm] [ music | an albatross; i live the good life ] i used to watch a lot of movies and put myself in the place of the main characters. people's lives always seemed so much better in movies. i haven't done that for the longest time, because i can honestly say that i am content with my life just the way it is. these days, i'm always smiling and laughing at everything. it all seems to good to be true. i love my friends. i love my boyfriend. i love my life (for the most part). things are far from perfect but i'm appreciating the good and dwelling less on the bad. i think for once in my life, i feel like i have a place where i just fit, perfectly. this entry is one of the last entries i will post with comments allowed. i just don't see the point in them anymore. the people who feel like talking to me can IM me (stop the riot) or email me (rollerskate_jam@yahoo.com). goodbye. 19; bloom

[17 Apr 2005|02:09am] [ music | agsfb; new in town ] ( i saw an albatross/melt banana tonight. )

pass the fucking dramamine, shown up [13 Apr 2005|05:33pm] [ music | gold chains and sue cie; shoot straight ]

i wasn't ready for the picture. (oh, sarah) [12 Apr 2005|06:47pm] [ music | john wilkes booze ] today was a good day, in my opinion. note the shirt. thanks, dan. (i want mine back!) ( ask;ldfjslkdf;jda )

adflkfjsldkfjsdflkjgdfjg [11 Apr 2005|07:00pm] [ music | paint it black; cutting class ]

[10 Apr 2005|08:35pm] [ music | against me!; i am citizen ] i am dead man i am un-numbered, un-filled i am untouchable i laugh at you everyday everything you do falls short of me you can't kill me, i'm dead man i threw myself away before you could get me with your disease you fucking cripples i am the great failure the endless botched suicide attempt the super charged embarrassment i am all the things that fall short i am all disappointment i manufacture all the things that you hate in yourself i am all your secrets you'll never get to me i'll be the hot monkey on your back for the rest of your life i am the kind of the modern day car crash i am the ten-ton alienator machine i inject hope into you like a disease i drain it from you to cause you pain i make you cause yourself pain that's the way it should be you're always eager to blame others for your discontent i like to run you up against yourself watch you drown in self pity i breathe on you so hard your back wants to break when i kiss you, you're gone forever you hate me? no. you don't deserve to hate me learn to hate yourself better i'm here to help you until death motherfucker (henry rollins) i think it's kind of amusing when people think they're better than other people. it happens way too much. we're all the same, we're all just people, you know? it's like, what makes you think that you're any better than i am? what gives you the right? nothing does. get over yourself.

[09 Apr 2005|11:45pm] [ music | the unseen; children of the revolution ] tonight on south street, a man tried to cure doug's soul with a jesus pamphlet. i like my friends.

i'm not just made of parts [06 Apr 2005|08:06pm] [ music | sleater-kinney; heart factory ]

[05 Apr 2005|03:32pm] [ music | crass; banned from the roxy ]

if you take this offer, we won't be hard to find [23 Mar 2005|05:07pm] [ music | hub city stompers; sum of three ] let's do a song about the girl in college who fucked the frat boy and got knocked up. the one who died screaming and convulsing in her room from septic infection from the abortion. about the kid from nebraska who went to vietnam and watched his guts cool on his legs before he died a virgin in the jungle. about the girl who has been in a mental institution for nine years and has been stuck with needles so many times she thinks she's a messenger from god to take the world's pain on her shoulders. about the man on death row who has not touched a woman for fifteen years. about the boy who was made to fuck his mother while his father watched. about the man who came home from work to find that his wife had cut their infant son in half and shot herself in the head. about the mother who was too high on junk to see that her baby had fallen down the side of the bed and smothered to death. about the boy who is beaten regularly by his father and is afraid to tell anyone because he fears the fucker will kill him. about the rich kid who fucked the girl, killed her and got away with it. about the woman who threw her baby into a dumpster and when she heard the sound of the child's skull hitting the iron floor she ran away screaming and vomiting. let's sing. (henry rollins)

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